Awake to pain.
I can’t say I’ve missed you.
Your face and your gaze,
touch of the insider,
reveals to win,
each past secret
and destroys the ego,
The Self
and The Compensator.
This kind of dissembling
is favorable
and a pleasant condition,
in the darkness,
half in, half out,
the conscious battle.
Finding out that we are not alone,
in stasis,
disconnected.
Awaken to the terror.
That’s what it is,
when what it is
is not of this nature.
Get away!
Get away!
If I could only lift a finger.
Oh, pain is favorable to this.
Primal aversion
to this
entity,
experience.
Biology,
not doing me any favors.
Wide awake,
not asleep,
not a dream,
but not real;
I pray not real.
Unlike anything I’ve ever seen,
for that I’m thankful.
The pain will go away
and gracefully the memory fades,
never completely gone,
I still retain
fear,
at a genetic level.
I think I’d know it
if I saw it
again.
Oh, please God,
I don’t want to see it again.
Pain subsides,
but this
awakens memories.
HG – 2019
