Pain For Paralysis

Awake to pain.

I can’t say I’ve missed you.

Your face and your gaze,

touch of the insider,

reveals to win,

each past secret

and destroys the ego,

The Self

and The Compensator.

 

This kind of dissembling

is favorable

and a pleasant condition,

in the darkness,

half in, half out,

the conscious battle.

Finding out that we are not alone,

in stasis,

disconnected.

 

Awaken to the terror.

That’s what it is,

when what it is

is not of this nature.

 

Get away!

Get away!

 

If I could only lift a finger.

Oh, pain is favorable to this.

 

Primal aversion

to this

entity,

experience.

Biology,

not doing me any favors.

 

Wide awake,

not asleep,

not a dream,

but not real;

I pray not real.

Unlike anything I’ve ever seen,

for that I’m thankful.

 

The pain will go away

and gracefully the memory fades,

never completely gone,

I still retain

fear,

at a genetic level.

 

I think I’d know it

if I saw it

again.

 

Oh, please God,

I don’t want to see it again.

 

Pain subsides,

but this

awakens memories.

 

 

HG – 2019

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