A Debt of Truth


A debt of truth.

Hardly what I wanted to

leave with you.

Thought I had my eyes

set on a higher view.

Never repenting.

Never resting in sorrow,

but reflecting

on what tomorrow

might bring.

Something new.

Some kind of truth.

Easier to speak,

now that I’m gone.

Here in the dark,

before the dawn.

Here in the night

before the day.

Not hiding

by whole life away.

Though I was doing it

for good.

Thought that you would

have understood

that I couldn’t give to you

anything like the truth.

I’m a liar and a fraud.

Charlatan, out seeking God.

Sometimes, I’m not anything at all.

But I tried to be something

for you.

Leaving all my lies behind,

on a small plane,

cheap airline.

Maybe I’ll return to you

in time

with a piece missing from my life.

Something I have never known.

The truth of who I am, alone.

The proof of who I am to me.

Every possibility.

Leaving you with

a debt of truth.

What a horrible I.O.U.

Don’t ask forgiveness,

and I don’t think that you

would offer it.

How do we forget

the lies we’ve lived.

How can I find?

real life instead?

Onward, outward.

I will return,

less haunted,

to pay my debt.



DJR – 2023

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