A debt of truth.
Hardly what I wanted to
leave with you.
Thought I had my eyes
set on a higher view.
Never repenting.
Never resting in sorrow,
but reflecting
on what tomorrow
might bring.
Something new.
Some kind of truth.
Easier to speak,
now that I’m gone.
Here in the dark,
before the dawn.
Here in the night
before the day.
Not hiding
by whole life away.
Though I was doing it
for good.
Thought that you would
have understood
that I couldn’t give to you
anything like the truth.
I’m a liar and a fraud.
Charlatan, out seeking God.
Sometimes, I’m not anything at all.
But I tried to be something
for you.
Leaving all my lies behind,
on a small plane,
cheap airline.
Maybe I’ll return to you
in time
with a piece missing from my life.
Something I have never known.
The truth of who I am, alone.
The proof of who I am to me.
Every possibility.
Leaving you with
a debt of truth.
What a horrible I.O.U.
Don’t ask forgiveness,
and I don’t think that you
would offer it.
How do we forget
the lies we’ve lived.
How can I find?
real life instead?
Onward, outward.
I will return,
less haunted,
to pay my debt.
DJR – 2023
