Who are you burning for?
Who are you struggling for?
Are you suffering because someone else refuses to change?
What is suffering out of love, and what is self-destruction?
We are finite beings. We only have so much time, so much energy, so much life in us to give. When we are living well, we are burning our resources at a rate at which we can replenish them without becoming too depleted, but when we are undisciplined, sick, or impulsive, we can run a deficit until our bodies and minds crash. Entropy is real. We’re all going to run out of time in the end.
Relationships are hard. They are living, dynamic arrangements that require each party to give and receive, to nurture, and to protect. The miracle of human relationships is that in physics 1+1=2, but in biology, 1+1=3, or 4, or 5. Family builds community, and community builds civilization, but only when there are more givers than takers. We’ve seen what happens to nations where the government is the largest employer. They fail.
You are not responsible for taking responsibility for things someone else refuses to take responsibility for. Get it? No? That’s okay. The idea is that it’s okay to have boundaries. It’s okay to have a standard for yourself, an idea of who you are and what you want out of life. If the people in your life are suffering because they don’t have a vision or concept of how to make their lives better, or even sustainable, it is not up to you to destroy your life to suffer with them. Misery doesn’t just love company. It needs it. It’s a vampire. Feed it, and it will suck you dry.
Joining others in the pit of despair doesn’t help them. It only removes a potential resource from their lives, should they decide they need it. It’s okay to burn, but burn with others whose light is shining just as bright if not brighter than yours. That way, together, we might illuminate the darkness and lead those who are out in the cold to light their own fire.
Have a great week.