The Traitor


None of this

ever made any sense.

Not sure I ever cared.

There was always a part of me

that relished the chaos,

but I yearned for order.

Something you were not equipped to teach.

A kingdom teetering on the edge

of total cataclysm

seemed to be my place in nature.

Is this what it is

when they say,

“A life in balance?”

A handful of fire in the right.

A handful of ice in the left.

And both burning me.

Struggling along the straight and narrow.

It has for my entire life

felt like my line winds

somewhere between the light

and the darkness.

I have chosen one,

and quit her.

Stole away at first opportunity.

Ran off to hide

with her sister

to whom I grew

slowly indifferent.

So strange

that the clearest life I see

comes from things

that used to confuse

and terrify me.

Now, there is intent,

where before

only reactions swayed.

You never taught me that.

That one I had to learn on my own.

Kind of hard-headed,

so maybe the lessons you had

were lost on me.

Maybe I’ve had it too easy.

Maybe I’ve had it too hard.

I don’t know,

and I don’t care.

The past doesn’t matter, anymore.

Fire in one hand.

Ice in the other.

Chaos and order.

Indifference and intent.

Not going to doubt

whose side I’m on now.



DJR – 2023

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