Tempted to just walk away.
Turn a page,
or burn it altogether.
All in my father’s name.
Where I learned
that shame could fuel anger.
When did I get so afraid
of everything that resembles danger?
Violence wired in me
always searching for an outlet.
Then I stop
and turn,
and I
face you.
Never my enemy.
Only exposing my vulnerability.
Everything aside,
it’s my weakness that I hide.
Stack it up
and I curl up behind
these crumbling walls
of my life.
Then a light dawns
in my eyes.
I have been wrong
this whole time.
Instead of setting my whole life
on fire,
I might
embrace you
and start to heal my mind,
my heart, and my soul.
Control was always in me.
Turn the page.
Grip the pen.
This is a new beginning.
I have fallen
and been wounded
in the early chapters.
now, I write
a whole life
of what happens after.
And the light
from this new fire
consumes my anger.
Burning bright
and I create a way
into the future.
I don’t have to hate.
Don’t have to be destroyed.
Choice only becomes fate
when we seek to avoid
all the beautiful things
that could fill up the void.
Why should I choose pain
when I could choose joy?
DJR – 2023
