Life in Negative


Trying to read the message

written in the mists of time.

Try to scry

the direction of my life.

Close my eyes

and it feels like

I’m so alive.

Open them

and I am trapped

back here inside.

Shouldn’t it be

the other way?

Shouldn’t I see

light in the day?

Shouldn’t I find

darkness at night?

Why does it seem

like I’m living

life in negative?

Chronically overexposed

to every toxic trait,

and I start to jones

for another quick escape.

Turn the lights down low.

I’m ready for my sedative.

I remember when

I had to feel alive

to live.

Sunlight opens something

that I’m no longer trusting.

The fear in the eye,

the hands reaching out and touching

everything, but it’s all

a dead sensation.

My eyes close again,

feeling the sublimation.

Change of state.

From the world

to anything

other than

what it is.

I wonder if

all worlds decay like this?

I wonder if

that’s why

it seems like a gift

to live

in negative.



DJR – 2023

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