Heaven moves around you.
Light, and angels,
and a peaceful soul.
I am a creature of chaos.
I feel your presence
like a second Sun.
Make me see myself
in the light of your coming.
A proposition I should despise,
but I am drawn to you.
Revulsion gives way
to pity for my scars,
compassion for my shame,
and finally,
your hands upon me.
Shudder as I realize
there exist sensations
other than pain,
other than torment.
A rush of warmth
floods though me,
as the void in my heart fills.
Something warm
unfolds at my center,
like a glowing ember.
A feeling of peace
like I have never known.
Tears flow from my eyes,
and my once ashen face
breaks into a smile.
Never have I even considered
that this is what love
would feel like.
Not the flame of passion,
or the ache of lust,
but a buoyant fullness,
as if being embraced,
rescued and protected.
The warm aura
permeates by whole being,
within and without.
I change in this moment.
I no longer doubt you.
Your presence has transformed me.
I can no longer deny
you,
or myself.
I know now,
that I cannot be unworthy.
I cannot be a wasted one.
If I can feel this love,
then I know
that must emerge
from this darkness.
DJR – 2023
