Thought I was coming away

with lessons that would guide me.

Instead, I’m left

wearing the patchwork clothes

of a circus clown,

because I

believed you to be real.

But you were just another conman.

A goddamned vampire.

Hunter and prey.

You sensed the vulnerability

in me.

Told me that I could be more,

if I would only subscribe,

faithfully follow you,

and ignore my intuition.

This was the first

in a cascade

of mistakes.

I should have known

you were a pathological parasite,

when the basis of your “cures”

insisted that I remain the sick one.

The weak one.

The pitiful and overlooked.


for my statures and status.

Build me up

to break me down again.

Keep me in your world

by making me believe

I am not ready for my own.

Until the day comes

when I can no longer deny

what’s been right in front of me.




I confront you.

Ironically, I am strong enough, now.

This is when

the real lesson begins.

As I watch you plead,

and beg,

and then accuse

and attack me in kind.

I learn so much,

watching you dissemble,

it almost makes

the past few months worthwhile.

You depart

wounded for now,

but a new victim

will come along in time.



DJR – 2023

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