It took me a long time to figure out that I was damaged. I had to learn that the trauma of early childhood had embedded itself deep in my psyche and molded my behaviors and how I viewed the world and my place in it.
This was after decades of heavy drug and alcohol use. I spent years self medicating away what I was too afraid to face. Fact is, I got tired of running. I couldn’t deny the truth anymore. I had to face it.
It was easy to cast off all my responsibility for my own trauma. I could drink, and do drugs, and treat people badly, because I had been treated badly. I came to realize though, that part of the way past the trauma, was to own it, not be owned by it.
It is up to me to make sure that I am looking after myself, doing what I need to do for my mental, physical, and spiritual health and no one else’s. It is up to me to treat the world in the way that I wish the world would have treated me when I was a child.
There are no excuses – only choices. I can choose to remain a victim of my circumstance, or I can choose to be a strong and loving person who understands that we aren’t all dealt the same hand, but we choose how we play the game, or if we even play it at all.
It’s up to us. No one else.
Love each other. Help each other.
Everyone is carrying something of their past, or present with them that they wish they could out down.
We are stronger together in our suffering, so be merciful. We need everyone.
Have a great week.