.
Cast a net of shadows
to catch the monster
swimming deep within.
There is no trophy,
just one less
creature
underneath.
Strive with the devil.
Let him drag you out
into dark waters,
far from shore
where the wind is strange
and the sky hungers.
Battle the great fish.
Know his teeth,
and feel his travail.
The burning in the arms,
the legs,
the back,
as you try not to capsize,
as you try not to
lose yourself in the war.
The flesh of the hands
cuts so easily,
wet and cold.
The strands of shadow
embedded in the skin.
The more the beast
thrashes and pulls,
the more the two of you
become inextricably entwined,
like the light and darkness
of your dim horizon.
Fade to grey,
and fog rolls in,
obscuring all but you,
and the boat,
and the demon you wrestle with.
Maybe it would just be easier
to cut the line,
or just jump in.
Knife and gaff in hand
and slay the monster,
knowing it would mean
your end as well.
Echoes off the fog,
like a voice
from the inside of your skull.
Its words sear your soul,
like embers spat out of a fire.
You strain against,
not only your quarry,
but against the very fact
of your own existence.
The thing in your head,
the thing in the sea,
they are both real
and you are trapped between them.
After what feels like days,
the line begins to slack,
and the great fish
breaches the surface.
Finally,
you behold
the immensity
of what you have been wrestling with
and for a moment,
you nearly cut line
and run.
The harpoon is in your hand.
The blood thunders
and the eyes narrow.
With an expert throw,
the steel sails home,
piercing flesh
to find the heart
of the giant.
It flails in its death throes,
churning the water
into a pink and frothy foam.
Then, silence.
Only the waves,
and the distant sounds
of seagulls.
The fog begins to lift,
and the defining line
of a one indiscernible horizon
shows you that you weren’t
so far from home after all.
Only a short distance,
that at one time
felt a gulf,
unfathomable.
A new warmth
finds its way
into your skin.
It sinks in deep,
down to the coldest parts
of your soul.
Somewhere
in a deep, inaccessible
part of your psyche,
you’re aware
that a dark thing is gone
and warm light flows in,
like the tide.
The travel back
will be difficult.
Your great prize,
threatens to break
every part of you,
but you turn the bow
towards home.
As your arms work the oars
you know
that you’ve survived
a cosmic moment,
the great confrontation
of living and destruction.
HG – 2022
