You put me on this
long, drawn trajectory,
but I don’t blame you.
No, not for a second.
Your rejection saved me.
I would not have survived
if the person I was
had been accepted.
I would have died
in my habits
and my hubris.
I believed
that I was special.
And not in the
“Only to my mother”
kind of way.
It took
you
breaking those illusions
and all the pain
that came with it
to make me realize.
I am truly special,
in that “Only to my mother”
kind of way.
And that’s okay.
I think,
it’s the best way to be special,
because most other ways
are just in name.
They’re all made up.
Things we tell ourselves
when we’re afraid
that we won’t measure up
to the calling of the day.
They hide our weakness
and disguise our pain,
but in truth
they are all lies
just the same.
I learned
that I am special
the hard way,
and I’m thankful
that I have the chance to be
special in that “Only to my mother”
kind of way;
it’s the only way
that really means anything.
HG – 2022
