You put me on this

long, drawn trajectory,

but I don’t blame you.

No, not for a second.

Your rejection saved me.

I would not have survived

if the person I was

had been accepted.

I would have died

in my habits

and my hubris.


I believed

that I was special.

And not in the

“Only to my mother”

kind of way.

It took


breaking those illusions

and all the pain

that came with it

to make me realize.


I am truly special,

in that “Only to my mother”

kind of way.

And that’s okay.

I think,

it’s the best way to be special,

because most other ways

are just in name.


They’re all made up.

Things we tell ourselves

when we’re afraid

that we won’t measure up

to the calling of the day.

They hide our weakness

and disguise our pain,

but in truth

they are all lies

just the same.


I learned

that I am special

the hard way,

and I’m thankful

that I have the chance to be

special in that “Only to my mother”

kind of way;

it’s the only way

that really means anything.



HG – 2022

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