First Day


Splitting through

a peaceful moment,

a high pitched scream,

loud enough

to make the dead

moan for quiet.


Splitting though the air,

the sky,

the mind.

Another one awakens

to a life

on the other side.


First day

in a new reality.


Didn’t believe what they were told.

Didn’t believe what they were shown.

lived in whatever way

they wanted,

on their own.


Such a fading existence.

So easy to deny what’s real

when you’re living in a fantasy

and everyone around you

is living in a fantasy, too.


Then, one day you wake

to find

the walls of reality

stark and bare of their integrity.

You just stare in disbelief.

This isn’t what it’s supposed to be.


You have no help, just a certainty,

that everything’s a responsibility

that falls to you, now.

The fantasy comes down.


First day in the real world.

You have to do it yourself.

There is no one else.

This time it’s all on you.

Let’s see what you can do.


No chemicals to take away

the pain of every day.

Nothing to bring joy in the place

of missing out on everything.


You’re going to have to make yourself,

and it’s going to be hard at first.

The day-to-day is gonna grind,

and I promise that it will hurt,

but you don’t know how strong you are.

No fantasy required at all.


You’re gonna find your feet.

You’re gonna stand tall.

The scream you’re screaming now

will become a sigh of relief.

You’re going to be true.

You’re going to believe

in your true self.

First day of something else.



HG – 2022

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