Shape and Shadow

 

I can barely see.

Something is covering my eyes.

Everything is dim light,

shape and shadow.

I have no sense of space,

but I can feel

that I am moving.

Anxious,

but I fear nothing.

No concept of an enemy.

 

No idea of myself,

as I

have never really

seen me.

Balance of struggle

and signal

and the algorithm.

Filtering all of my

perceptions.

 

It’s so much easier

to be told,

than have to

try to figure it out

on my own.

 

Then one day,

the blinding pain,

confusion and madness.

What I see

is impossible,

it must be a hallucination.

 

Doctor sees me,

tells me,

there’s a tear in my veil.

Sews me up,

sends me home,

gives me a prescription

for a sedative.

 

Wait…

… there’s a tear in my what?

Doesn’t matter.

Take the pills

and forget,

but there are dreams, now.

Visions,

that weren’t there

before.

 

Feeling along my face.

It’s been described to me,

but I can’t see it.

My world has always been

just shades of grey,

and shape and shadow.

 

Starting just above my nose,

all the way to my forehead,

a thin,

gossamer veil

covers my eyes.

 

I can feel the doctor’s small repair,

but I can feel

that there are also

a few loose threads there.

unconsciously,

I pull,

and the pain

is overwhelming.

 

I scream,

as the world

goes white.

Then darkness;

total darkness.

For a moment,

I’m sure

I’ve been struck blind.

 

It takes me a second

to realize,

my eyes are just closed.

 

Slowly, I let them open

and only squint,

as the light is painful,

but after seconds,

then minutes,

I get focus,

and I collapse in tears.

 

This world,

is not what I was told.

It’s infinitely more beautiful.

Such elation

and such sorrow,

to know

that the true nature

of the world

was kept from me.

 

I’ll never close my eyes

again.

 

 

HG – 2021

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