I can barely see.
Something is covering my eyes.
Everything is dim light,
shape and shadow.
I have no sense of space,
but I can feel
that I am moving.
Anxious,
but I fear nothing.
No concept of an enemy.
No idea of myself,
as I
have never really
seen me.
Balance of struggle
and signal
and the algorithm.
Filtering all of my
perceptions.
It’s so much easier
to be told,
than have to
try to figure it out
on my own.
Then one day,
the blinding pain,
confusion and madness.
What I see
is impossible,
it must be a hallucination.
Doctor sees me,
tells me,
there’s a tear in my veil.
Sews me up,
sends me home,
gives me a prescription
for a sedative.
Wait…
… there’s a tear in my what?
Doesn’t matter.
Take the pills
and forget,
but there are dreams, now.
Visions,
that weren’t there
before.
Feeling along my face.
It’s been described to me,
but I can’t see it.
My world has always been
just shades of grey,
and shape and shadow.
Starting just above my nose,
all the way to my forehead,
a thin,
gossamer veil
covers my eyes.
I can feel the doctor’s small repair,
but I can feel
that there are also
a few loose threads there.
unconsciously,
I pull,
and the pain
is overwhelming.
I scream,
as the world
goes white.
Then darkness;
total darkness.
For a moment,
I’m sure
I’ve been struck blind.
It takes me a second
to realize,
my eyes are just closed.
Slowly, I let them open
and only squint,
as the light is painful,
but after seconds,
then minutes,
I get focus,
and I collapse in tears.
This world,
is not what I was told.
It’s infinitely more beautiful.
Such elation
and such sorrow,
to know
that the true nature
of the world
was kept from me.
I’ll never close my eyes
again.
HG – 2021
