Confidence;
the vice that grips you.
Doubt,
the sour aftertaste.
Bloodshot eyes,
and perforations
in your soul and memory.
Isn’t it time
you made the promise?
You and I both know
your word is worthless,
but even just going
through the motions
would be better than this.
No sacrament,
no Holy altar.
No magic words,
no lucky stars.
Both of us
have come
far enough
to know who we are.
Change isn’t easy.
The soul is a slippery fish.
Try to grab it,
just to look at it,
and you’re going in the drink,
only to come out
empty handed.
Time pulls back the curtain
and reveals a lot of lies.
We believed things as children
that we defend with our lives.
We deceive ourselves,
and obfuscate.
We do things
we know will harm us
just to escape
the pain,
but in the end,
we only kill ourselves.
Put yourself
in a recovery position.
let yourself
get back
a little strength.
Even if you never win,
you don’t always have to lose
this hard.
We’re all rooting for you,
because you
are worth
the promise.
HG – 2021
