The hardest thing
I have
to give up,
is my pain.
Without it,
I fear
a meager
husk
of myself.
I have every excuse
to keep myself
cocooned in memories
of trauma
and sadness.
Gives me a reason
to keep my demons
and not reach for Heaven.
Lost the years
to the music
that played in my head
and never danced,
only swaying
in the wind.
Ask me again,
why I died
all those years ago?
Why I ran
from myself,
so uncomfortable?
This catharsis
is becoming inevitable
and I’ll run away
from the light again.
I am not what I was,
but I fear
what I might become,
not for any other reason
that when I push off
from this island
of despair,
I’m going to have to swim
on my own
and I’m scared.
HG – 2021
