Feeling along the surface
of my skin,
looking for the edges,
where I’ve been
cutting and tearing
myself again.
Thought I was more than this.
No rationalizing it.
I don’t think
there’s a better way
to find out
what’s inside,
without going out
of your mind.
I pay a price each time.
It’s getting to the point
where the dig
isn’t worth the pay.
All the time spent
putting myself back together again.
They say,
I can have success,
or I can have the demons,
but I can’t keep them both.
If I know that,
then,
I’ve got a choice to make.
Time to come around
and maybe I won’t break
when I hit the ground.
Maybe I will stay
stable long enough
to create a place
to save
all the angels
in my way.
Tie the knot
on the final suture.
The future’s looking
like I might
make it after all.
Hide my scars
and start the climb again.
Always faithful in a fall.
Gravity always calls.
HG – 2021