Muddled up Man


I never asked for memories.

I wanted moments,

I wanted now!

Not a head full

of fading ghosts,


and pain that doesn’t justify

what I’ve done,

or who I am.


I wanted more days

that open with us

tangled in the sheets

and pure, yellow sunlight

painting your face.

Your lips as soft

as anything I can imagine.

Your eyes drinking me in,

until I am and empty vessel.


I would give all the rest

for more of that,

but in the end,

it is all me.

Muddled up man,

counting his contradictions,

holding on to Heaven

while standing in Hell,

or maybe

it’s the other way around.


I guess it doesn’t matter,

I’m going to die some day.

So babe,

I’m going to close my eyes

and come back to bed.



HG – 2020

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