Speaking without any expectation
of being heard.
We never learn
the world is listening.
Thought I was better off
on my own,
deny that I’m a social creature.
.
Everything I did for myself,
I did for your approval
and appreciation.
I thought I was a single molecule,
didn’t know I was paired and bonded.
So willing to sacrifice,
but never more
than my natural deviations.
Turns out I’m sick,
and my disease
is us.
.
I’m incompatible;
needing you for your safety.
Holding on to you so tight,
while we’re beating and demeaning;
fucking for a fight.
When you can’t stand my presence,
I want to be around.
When we think we’re treading water,
we find we’re still dragging each other down.
.
I know you can hear me.
I know you’re there.
There are no denials,
or acquittals,
we’re guilty as hell,
and we don’t care.
Decency has gone out the window,
camaraderie is falling down the stairs.
Do my best,
to marry you a widow,
so the expectation
isn’t really there.
.
A strange way
to show desire.
I know you’re out there,
on the wire.
I’m speaking,
but my words fail to start,
and everything falls apart.
.
We get lost in our tragedies.
.
.
HG – 2020
