This is how it has always been,
a cynical
life of conflict.
.
Longing for more
than I’ve ever known,
without disregarding
the parable.
.
Trapped inside my tiny prison,
eating craps of my regret.
Sometimes someone shines a light in,
and frightens me with my own shadow.
.
This is how it has always been,
but I swear to God,
I have imagined more.
.
Spitting blood
and broken teeth,
didn’t have to be
my graduation.
.
Never was
and never will be.
.
I asked myself,
“Do you really want to change?”
and the laughter I heard
was my own,
echoed by the Devil on my shoulder.
.
This is high stakes shit;
life,
or my eternal soul.
How does a man
free himself
from the only life
he’s ever known?
.
Constantly in contradiction,
with right and wrong,
fast and slow.
Never chose a side,
picked a direction;
always scared of my own shadow.
.
Holding up a hand
to block the light,
I guess it isn’t all that bright.
Maybe the dark
is not so deep.
It turns out,
you have to open your eyes to see.
.
This is how it has always been,
seeing all the same signs again.
Truth is,
it’s time to decide,
do I have it in me
to fight
one last time?
.
.
HG – 2020
