This is not
what I thought it would be.
Understood things differently.
Maybe I was wrong
in my head,
before I even started.
Thought I could lay claim
to your pain,
and wear it like a new vest.
Thought it would show you
just how much
I really cared.
When I put it on
and wore it around,
I got scared,
because the eyes
that beheld that pain,
pushed it on me, too.
It became heavy,
hard to move,
and I began to wonder
if I really cared enough
to wear this pain at all?
I thought by putting on
this display,
I would understand you more,
and I might be
and ally by your side.
But now,
I understand even less,
how you walk around
with this weight upon you,
all the time,
since childhood.
I don’t think I’ll ever
understand.
I don’t think
I understood myself.
Questioning everything, now;
even my own motives.
I chose a place
beside you,
but I don’t know
if I have the strength
to stand with you.
At the end of the day,
I can take off this vest
and all of this pain,
will go away.
That fact sits with me,
as I wonder again,
at my motives
and my best intentions.
Can I wear your pain?
HG – 2020
