The Vest

This is not

what I thought it would be.

Understood things differently.

Maybe I was wrong

in my head,

before I even started.


Thought I could lay claim

to your pain,

and wear it like a new vest.

Thought it would show you

just how much

I really cared.


When I put it on

and wore it around,

I got scared,

because the eyes

that beheld that pain,

pushed it on me, too.


It became heavy,

hard to move,

and I began to wonder

if I really cared enough

to wear this pain at all?


I thought by putting on

this display,

I would understand you more,

and I might be

and ally by your side.


But now,

I understand even less,

how you walk around

with this weight upon you,

all the time,

since childhood.


I don’t think I’ll ever


I don’t think

I understood myself.

Questioning everything, now;

even my own motives.


I chose a place

beside you,

but I don’t know

if I have the strength

to stand with you.


At the end of the day,

I can take off this vest

and all of this pain,

will go away.


That fact sits with me,

as I wonder again,

at my motives

and my best intentions.

Can I wear your pain?



HG – 2020

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