A Cancer Grows


Life was a cruel joke,

because of you.

I stayed,

nailed down by my indiscretions.


isn’t losing,

if I tell myself

I’ve never played the game.


Rolling with the punches,

seemingly inviolate.

My face takes on the countenance

of someone that I hate.


Try pinning me down, now.

Not what I was,

and not what we were.

Time has gone by,

and you’ve gotten worse.

The wisdom of years,

a gift and a curse.

Wisdom and strength,

but somewhere,

a cancer grows.


Leave it to you

to decide my victory.

I’m not arguing

my validity.

Trapped again.

Lost myself

in the hostility.

Maybe I was wrong

this whole time,

and the problem

is probably me?


Just once,

I’d like to be right.

On the good side

of my appetites.

Just once

I’d like to walk away

and not get dragged back,

kicking and screaming

by my mistakes,

my words,

and my genuflections.


These days,

I don’t bend.

I fucking stand.



HG – 2020

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