Life was a cruel joke,
because of you.
I stayed,
nailed down by my indiscretions.
Losing
isn’t losing,
if I tell myself
I’ve never played the game.
Rolling with the punches,
seemingly inviolate.
My face takes on the countenance
of someone that I hate.
Try pinning me down, now.
Not what I was,
and not what we were.
Time has gone by,
and you’ve gotten worse.
The wisdom of years,
a gift and a curse.
Wisdom and strength,
but somewhere,
a cancer grows.
Leave it to you
to decide my victory.
I’m not arguing
my validity.
Trapped again.
Lost myself
in the hostility.
Maybe I was wrong
this whole time,
and the problem
is probably me?
Just once,
I’d like to be right.
On the good side
of my appetites.
Just once
I’d like to walk away
and not get dragged back,
kicking and screaming
by my mistakes,
my words,
and my genuflections.
These days,
I don’t bend.
I fucking stand.
HG – 2020
