So long,
been reaching out,
feeling my way around.
This place,
lightless,
shifting uncertainly.
With every tentative step,
I come nearer to
the calming place.
The warm embrace.
No longer troubled to
touch
your face.
Everything could have been
a blade,
in the dark,
and now the light come in.
I’m no longer terrified,
but my whole world
has been a lie.
I almost want
to close my eyes
again,
and settle back into the dark.
You were not
what I thought you were.
I ascribed things to you;
imaginings,
fairy tales,
hopes of what I wanted to be true.
Now, here you are,
some other creature.
One, that only
vaguely
resembles something like what I
dreamed,
and felt
in the dark.
It turns out,
everything I thought you were,
was all in my head.
Can’t unbreak the egg.
What’s known, now,
can’t be unknown.
No going back to
the cave,
but I
want to hate you so.
You were the lie that I told myself.
Something that I once believed,
but now, I see.
Fuck you, anyway.
HG – 2020
