I’ve been reaching in,

carefully trying

to capture my thoughts,

my words,

my history.

Subtle like a blade,

trying to

cut the waste away,

but gossamer strands

just tear in my hands,

and the rest,

just slip my mind.

 

I’m am not an island,

whole unto myself

and abandoned.

I can feel the life

in and around me.

I’m trying to reach out

and touch it.

 

I was a fool

when I was younger.

I put on masks

to seek my pleasures,

but now they’re dead

and I’m beneath them.

I no longer feel anything.

 

Staring out,

trying to free myself

from this web,

spun for me.

So beautiful,

intricately,

perfectly set

to trap me

and

terrorize and torment,

torture and enslave me.

Devouring me

from the inside

while I’m still alive,

so it will be

as it has always been.

 

I’m looking inside.

Seeking out my inner child.

Somewhere,

he will save me

from the monsters,

and the spiders in my head.

Heart is still beating,

blood is still flowing.

Not dead yet,

not giving up.

It’s time for a rescue.

 

I’m going in.

 

 
HG – 2020