Tell me what you want from me.
Don’t lie,
don’t hide,
don’t ascribe
your desires to another’s heart.
I have prayed for you.
I have slaved for you.
I have killed for you,
and yet you still
keep yourself from me.
I can stay no longer.
I am going on
to the next thing,
and the next thing,
and the next thing after that.
You took from me,
you used me
for your own needs.
Now, I have my own fate
that I must appease.
I walk away,
and you stand there
in the doorway.
I can hear the sobs,
but I keep walking.
The dust blows
in swirling columns
down our dirt road.
You close your eyes
for an instant,
and I am gone.
We suffered each other
long enough.
Too long to be healthy,
but not long enough
to find
our salvation.
My principle,
my avarice
and my downfall.
You were everything to me,
up to,
and becoming
my death.
I hope to make the coast by nightfall,
so I can stand
in the salt breeze
and let it take your scent off me.
I may cry then,
I may scream
out at the endless water,
but I won’t eat my gun,
or slit my throat.
I love you,
but I can’t stay here.
I am better as a ghost
than as a man.
Believe in you,
like you believed in me.
Use yourself,
drain yourself,
like to took from me.
You’ll find,
I am sure,
an endless ocean.
You’ll be okay
and I
will be alive.
-HG
