Eventuality

Placing my feet firm on the ground.

Breathing in and breathing out.

Slowing my heartbeat down.

Pull my head back from the clouds.

 

I am aware of my body,

and I am feeling what’s around me.

Feel that I am breathing,

blood flowing and sustaining.

 

Eyes closed,

but I am seeing,

light and colors,

shapes and patterns.

Thoughts come to me unbidden,

and disappear just as quickly.

 

I am

not who I was.

I am

not who I’m going to be.

Exploring

deep inside.

Face my reality.

 

Free myself of my lies.

Take to the battlefield

of time,

of this life;

face my eventuality.

 

Momma didn’t raise no fool

and dad didn’t raise no coward.

Sick of just hanging on,

afraid of what might come afterward.

 

So,

I’m gonna go on down

to where my heart beats

like a river,

flowing out into the sea.

All of me and what is after.

 

Open to my every word,

every thought and all emotion.

Life flashes before my eyes,

close as I can come to hoping.

 

Exposed,

and humbled by

the magnitude

of this thing

I can’t describe.

 

I am just a piece,

one heart,

one mind.

I will find release,

one day.

Until then,

I can put my feet

firm on the ground

and breathe.

 

HG – 2019

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