I asked you to come and witness
this transformation.
The only becoming that I
had ever wanted.
You arrived,
all close and cloistered,
kept to your kind
and watched me sideways.
With a smile in your eyes;
not the welcome kind.
Laugh behind your hands,
like you thought I was blind.
My only moment,
now a persecution.
I bet you don’t know
what it is you’ve done.
Beg you to come and live in this
abomination.
Witless and senseless,
you birthed this
with your derision
and your ridicule.
Reminded
some buried part of me
that if you’re going to inflict it,
then you must like it.
So here we go,
down a dangerous road.
I hope you know
I wanted to grow
into some kind of
half-way decent person,
but the monster in front of you
is what you made me into.
Come and witness
conflagration.
Blood in the beginning,
fire at the end.
I could have walked it off,
I could have just moved on,
but the way you laughed,
just seemed so fucking wrong.
And the smile on your face,
mocked me in my sleep.
I dreamed of nothing but
the sound of your screams.
It wasn’t me
that turned
into a monster;
it was you.
I was only doing
what we do to monsters.
Tell me I’m not wrong.
Tell me I’m not wrong.
HG – 2019
