Present State of Undress

Gathering

all that I am

for one more day

in the unknown.

The future’s here,

the present’s gone,

turned quickly

to the past.

 

All that I

have ever been

is just a drop of rain;

falling.

A tidal wave

is more that we see;

it is the Earth moving.

A snowflake,

in just the right place

can bring the mountain

down.

 

Always

I have tried

to make sense of it all.

Patience,

the softest virtue,

comes to resemble fear.

 

Turning

my whole life

over in my hands.

Why not today?

Is there any way

to change it all again?

 

I think there is.

 

Slip my fingers

in along the edges.

Find that seam;

Oh, not quite perfect

are we?

Grip until

I find a purchase,

pull and tearing

at the surface.

Strip of all this pretty,

show the ugly insides

to the sky.

This is how we grow,

if we don’t we die.

Nothing’s ever easy,

especially

making a life.

 

I’m standing here again;

naked and bleeding

and facing the fear

that once restrained,

comforted,

coddled,

and crippled me.

 

It’s all clear again.

All of the ego is gone away.

Pain is only temporary.

Shame is forever,

if not embraced.

The future is here,

the present

is already yesterday.

 

Everything worth keeping

wasn’t really mine,

anyway.

Losing it all,

is sometimes the way

we find the voice,

we find the strength,

to win.

Fight to the death,

every time.

There only ever was

today.

 

HG – 2018

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