I gave it all to her,
you know,
about as good as anyone.
Remember how I walked her home,
miles from my own
in the dead of winter?
Then I had to make the return trip
and God, did I get cold.
I kept telling myself,
“Her love will keep me warm.”
and it did,
but only for a little while.
Alone on New Year’s Eve 1997.
I bet she didn’t know
that when she brought me to her home
that nothing would happen.
Maybe it was just pity,
like bringing home a stray dog,
but it was welcome.
I never forgot it.
You can’t break
the heart that’s already broken;
destruction is a force field.
I ran my hands all over her body.
My lips touched every part of her,
some only known to God.
My intentions were never pure,
but they were fire
and I long to stem the pulse
of old regret.
Time tourniquets the wound,
but only briefly.
The mind remembers pleasure,
but not pain.
Love
is a doctor
and a death knell
and our hearts
know only what remains.
-HG
