10.27.18

I gave it all to her,

you know,

about as good as anyone.

Remember how I walked her home,

miles from my own

in the dead of winter?

Then I had to make the return trip

and God, did I get cold.

I kept telling myself,

“Her love will keep me warm.”

and it did,

but only for a little while.

 

Alone on New Year’s Eve 1997.

I bet she didn’t know

that when she brought me to her home

that nothing would happen.

Maybe it was just pity,

like bringing home a stray dog,

but it was welcome.

I never forgot it.

You can’t break

the heart that’s already broken;

destruction is a force field.

 

I ran my hands all over her body.

My lips touched every part of her,

some only known to God.

My intentions were never pure,

but they were fire

and I long to stem the pulse

of old regret.

 

Time tourniquets the wound,

but only briefly.

The mind remembers pleasure,

but not pain.

Love

is a doctor

and a death knell

and our hearts

know only what remains.

 

-HG

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