I’ve been lying
about everything
for so long,
I can’t hide
myself
behind the lines
of my transgressions
anymore.
I told myself,
I was sparing you
the worst of me;
a harsher reality,
but instead,
I was tying myself up
in my own spider web
of insecurity.
I tried my best
one or two
times
to alleviate
my falsehoods,
but they just cinched tighter
and dragged me back
into my shame again.
A disgusting spiral.
I was never
what I was
with you,
or without you.
I was just a liar.
Never been a savior,
or a lover,
or a friend.
Just a web spinner.
Fangs of poison,
eyes of plenty
and I know what the world
does to my kind,
but you were so
eager
to believe the lie.
I’m not saying
it was not my fault,
I’m just saying,
there’s a reason
we exist.
It’s just so easy.
It isn’t right,
but,
it’s just so easy,
not to me
me.
HG – 2018
