Web Spinner

I’ve been lying

about everything

for so long,

I can’t hide

myself

behind the lines

of my transgressions

anymore.

 

I told myself,

I was sparing you

the worst of me;

a harsher reality,

but instead,

I was tying myself up

in my own spider web

of insecurity.

 

I tried my best

one or two

times

to alleviate

my falsehoods,

but they just cinched tighter

and dragged me back

into my shame again.

A disgusting spiral.

 

I was never

what I was

with you,

or without you.

I was just a liar.

Never been a savior,

or a lover,

or a friend.

 

Just a web spinner.

Fangs of poison,

eyes of plenty

and I know what the world

does to my kind,

but you were so

eager

to believe the lie.

 

I’m not saying

it was not my fault,

I’m just saying,

there’s a reason

we exist.

It’s just so easy.

It isn’t right,

but,

it’s just so easy,

not to me

me.

 

HG – 2018

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