Presence

 

It comes so easy

to admit to you that I don’t know.

That I’m afraid,

I’m terrified,

but I’m still holding on.

 

I dropped down

a sounding line

to check the depth

and by the time

it ran out of my hands,

I was already mortified.

This just goes on

and on

and on.

 

We are incurable,

insatiable.

If we don’t even know ourselves,

how can we expect to know

the universe?

 

Then there are those unexpected

moments of clarity.

When we’re able to right ourselves

and get our bearings

before drifting into the fog again.

 

Rational,

emotional;

I’m not sure it really matters.

Gradual,

instinctual;

we react to what happens.

All we know

is that we don’t know.

That’s gonna have to be enough

to keep us going on

and on

and on.

 

At least I’m fairly sure

I know you’re here

and I’m gonna do my best

to treat you like I should.

That might remind me

that I can be

something good;

something better.

 

The psychological abyss is endless.

Consciousness a beachless sea.

It just drops off at the shore

and who knows what’s out there.

 

I’m still standing here,

holding on.

Yeah, I’m holding on,

can’t let go.

Oh, I’m holding on

to everything,

until I can let go.

 

Now, here comes Sanity,

here to greet us

like an old friend.

Showing us up from down,

through us and around again.

What were we without you?

We pose that age old question.

One day the answer’s gonna come.

I hope we’re ready.

 

So just keep holding on

and looking out

and treating me

better than you treat yourself.

I’ll do the same;

I promise.

I’m not leaving you

in the atmosphere,

in the endless fog,

that black abyss.

I’m holding on,

I’m holding on.

Do you feel me?

I’m right here.

 

HG – 2018

 

 

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