I’ve been
letting myself down
real easy.
Getting over my
various iterations
has been…
…well, let’s just say,
it’s been an adventure
in the extraordinary
power of avoidance.
Deny myself the parable.
Not worthy of the metaphor.
I’m not exactly feeling dirty,
just out of place,
a little out of sorts.
Oh, you know
that I’ll be coming home
to you;
your favorite big, red balloon.
I’m inside;
sometimes it’s a room,
sometimes a chamber.
I’m not very good
at lingering, I fear.
I’ve been feeling tired
and the climb is long.
I’m not certain
that I can go on,
but then I realize
I’ve been hanging on
to all my misery,
accompanied
by parts of me
that died long ago.
I just have to open my hands
and let go
and I’ll float.
Oh, it seems so easy.
If I can slip my grip,
I’ll break a finger or two
to be free to move.
Bearing my burdens
has been noble and right
and really fucking stupid.
There must come a time
where we set aside
our shame and punishment.
It only gets us
so far gone,
to build that character
and learn humility.
Sometimes
we have to set
ourselves aside
to save our sanity.
So, now I’ll just float away,
free as the sky
will let me be.
Wherever the wind shall carry me.
I’ll be in the open place,
no longer so restrained.
I love you,
so you let me go.
Choosing to keep all your fingers.
Now it’s my time
to release my hold.
Open hand
is full of danger.
The way it was meant to be.
HG – 2018
