I’m going to try.
For the very first time
in my miserable life,
to create magic
and perform miracles.
At this point,
nothing else will suffice.
Driven to the edge.
Flying blind.
More words are prayers
than “Hello.”
and “How are you?”
I traded away
so many days
and now I learn
that I could have been
anything.
I could have lived
a life filled
with miracles.
I ignored
and I denied
the impossible.
Claimed that I had already
B.T.D.T.
I fell for the big con
like a champion.
Drank it in,
like I was dying of thirst.
Gave up on dreaming;
so insignificant.
I could have seen the light,
but I was turned away,
staring into my grave
and knowing I was never
good enough to save.
Now,
there is a kiss,
a kind word,
a cup of coffee
and a sunrise.
An extended hand
and I get up
and I can see again.
The scales fall from my eyes;
turns out,
I was blinding them.
Holding back,
but giving it all
to give in
and in my selfish obsession,
I realize
that I have missed
so much.
Everything I touch,
is magic.
Everything I trust,
is a miracle
and I am capable
of knowing it all.
So ashamed
and always disappointed,
that I denied
the things that make this life
worth living.
I’m alive,
nothing could be more special,
than to live
in this world of miracles.
If I just quit turning away.
HG – 2018
