So high up,
the air is thinner.
The wind blows
almost constantly.
My bitter friends,
my ravaged ego,
left below
many miles ago.
Still ascending;
all there is up here
is the mountain,
the sky
and what I’ve left behind.
The bitterness,
the disappointment,
that dogged me in my life.
The Octopus,
the Praying Mantis;
never dragged me down,
or devoured my head
and trust me,
it was not for lack of trying.
I still have all the scars
and the traumas.
Everyone said,
those battles were unwinnable,
but here I am;
seeking certain death
upon a mountain side,
with no more light to guide me.
Knowing that my bones
will decorate the way,
if I do not survive.
What am I trying to find?
What prize lies
on the summit of this
seemingly insurmountable
path to nowhere?
I don’t know anymore;
other than the view,
and the clean air,
and the likelihood
that it will be just me
and the sky
and everything else
will be beneath me.
Behind me.
No hope for wisdom,
but maybe a little peace.
Up here,
higher than I’ve ever been.
Comforted
by the height.
Maybe I’ll never come down.
Maybe I won’t come back
to the lower world.
How much could I miss,
when it’s just me
and the sky
and forever?
I know I’ll make the attempt
to pick my way
back down the scree and talus
to be with the world again,
but I will always miss
breathing
up in the air,
with the sky
and the mountain.
Closer to God
than I have ever been.
HG – 2018
