A Huge Mistake

I don’t have the energy.

I don’t have the words.

I don’t know the outcome,

the angle,

so decisive,

to fight you,

to take you on.


I can’t lead you on

to the next thing,

until this fever is gone.

And the next thing,

is the next thing.

And the next thing,

is the next thing.

Why can’t we just

get on with it?


I’m out here

screaming thoughts.

One day I’ll just lose my voice.

One day I’ll just become dumb.

I have tried to explain,

but never satisfied.

I’ve got a turncoat mind,

abandons me all the time.


I should have known

that being who I am

might not be good for you,

so now I’ve changed,

I’m not sure who I am;

still not good for you.


I’ll never stop.

I’ll never quit.

Not sure that I know how.

Pick myself up off the ground,

dust myself off

and keep climbing out.


I used to think

that we were here

in this endless moment

to experience it,

but now I think

we might just be conduit

through which forever comes.


There is so much more

to all of this

than killing each other.

Sure we are both willing to die,

but that’s not a leap of faith;

it’s inevitable.


Who we are

is a much bigger sacrifice.

Maybe burning all that I am

for you

is a huge mistake,

but isn’t the fire pretty?

Isn’t it bright and warm?


We can be


so regrets are stupid.

Never doubt

that what we have ahead

is anything less

than astonishing.


HG – 2018

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