Find me
sitting in the silence,
looking out the window,
listening to the wind,
watching the world change.
These days,
I’m a mess,
but I’m not violent.
I’m ashamed,
but not accusing;
sick of my metaphors.
Drained of all
my venom and alcohol.
Never tasted malice.
Never had a tongue for names.
I might have been,
at one point in my life,
open
for just about anything
and sometimes
even everything
wouldn’t do it for me.
So let the junkie,
sober and empty,
rapt by the clock on the wall,
sit in silence
and watch the world change.
It’s never going to be
anything I recognise
ever again.
Every grain has been displaced.
I swear to God,
I’ve lost all my familiar.
Every touchstone worn away.
No one ever told me
this world was full of cannibals,
just devouring one another,
as the world eats itself.
The snake and the tail,
the end and the source;
the ultimate betrayal.
Here I sit,
watching the world change.
In silence,
but it will not be long
before the screaming starts.
I am not meant to linger,
so I best get out
and be moved,
while I still can be moved.
Grain by grain,
day by day,
into forever.
HG – 2018