Bitter Dark Snow Globe

 

 

I know I crossed that line,

blazed with it,

inhaled it;

like a rough morning,

sunrises slow and greasy

over the wrong side of town.

 

Never knew a day like any other.

Never imagined anything

could be better than that

sharp hydrochloride bite

and the rush up

swim down,

fuck it all and let it burn,

day to day cacophony;

silenced in my head

by sedation.

 

And then the day took me

and the night rejected me.

The shadows in which I used to hide

haunted me,

driving me out

into the stunning brilliance

of a world that had decided

to stay beautiful.

 

I stripped down

to my degradations

and divested myself

of my opinions

and knowing

only that I knew nothing;

I placed myself at the mercy

of the balance.

I could feel my mind

leaving me.

 

My days eclipsed by terrors,

guilt and reprobation,

visitations by demonic forces

where my angels used to tread.

I suffered,

and yes,

there was an end.

Yes,

there was a moment of revelation.

Yes,

there was an embrace

by the arms of the Most High.

 

Universal love.

Warm soul energy,

that pumped

something akin

to spiritual dopamine

into my heart

and it filled my body

with the strangest feeling

and I could only feel it,

because the fear was gone.

The hate was gone.

 

The dark,

it was mine again

and I could rest there.

The light

no longer mocked me,

but I knew that kiss,

those clouds,

that blue expanse

of filtered forever

and I was okay

with just being one beating heart

amongst billions.

 

I remember that life.

I keep it in a snow globe,

on a shelf

in the back of my mind

and every so often,

I walk by

and give it a shake

and watch the chaos

and think;

life was strange then,

but it is surely stranger, now.

I’m glad I chose to see it.

 

HG – 2017

 

 

 

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