I don’t know what to do,
or what to say,
so I’ll say everything,
do everything.
In the absence of a plan,
I’m just hammering away
at this wall,
trying to break it down.
We thought we were building a home,
not a prison.
The ineffectual tears,
the sadness that never
meant anything,
or went anywhere.
On a bright and sunny
summer day,
you claimed you’d made
the ultimate decision.
Never in my life
was I more afraid,
but I guess they’re my problems.
I’ll deal with them
one by one
and I’ll admit,
I’m getting quite proficient
at doing things
without you.
Here come those tears again;
the ones that don’t mean anything.
I guess the grass is greener
and the problem’s far away
from your perspective,
but it’s still going to be
right where it’s always been,
if you don’t fix it.
One in a while,
I realize that we
don’t have to be
a savior.
So, I’m coming off my cross
and I’m not sure
what to say,
or what to do,
that won’t be destructive.
Ignoring all my intuitions
got me where I am,
but I have I been betrayed,
or played myself?
Did every wicked thing
that I rejected
find its way back in somehow?
You and I are fading
and life’s too short to fuck around
with waiting.
Backwards isn’t an option,
so I’m afraid
the only way
is forward.
HG – 2017
