We have been going
out of our way
to avoid this
as best we can,
but words
aren’t such a simple thing
when we don’t
understand.
I give to you,
you give to me,
exchanges that supplant
the feeling
we know we need,
but we don’t
understand.
It’s been a while
since either one
of us has had
a really good break down.
It’s been so quiet
and peaceful
and numbing,
like we don’t know
that we’re on the way, now.
To an impasse,
to a long plateau,
that is the place
where good intentions go.
So I’m going to let my guard down now
and if you strike
the killing blow,
I trust you to be deadly.
Maybe this is what happens
when we build a wall
around our emotions.
We let the good stay stuck
inside our hearts and minds
and we don’t give a fuck
about who we deny,
as long as pain stays out,
as long as tears don’t fall;
protected behind these
barbed and sarcastic walls.
It’s all a joke to me,
until it’s not.
Silence,
is the trust killer.
Erase the dream
with a comforting smile.
I’m so sorry;
I thought I was protecting you
and saving myself,
at least for a little while.
So what pain may come;
let it come.
What we might feel
won’t be wrong.
The hurt we cause
by trying to be strong,
trying to keep the pain out.
I’m sorry,
that it has been this way;
I know that it’s not too late to change.
HG – 2017