Baby Wings

I’ve been

hanging on so tight.

I’ve been

digging deep

to keep the fight

in me

alive.

The drive inside

is all that I have,

now my grip

is stripping my

fingers to the bone

 

Why can’t I fight harder?

Why can’t I be stronger?

Why is this enemy

so much more to conquer?

All this rage and tremor

beating through my body

and I feel insane,

every nerve is raw

and I don’t even remember

why I wanted this.

What am I still hanging on for?

 

Got so high up I could see it all,

the curvature of the Earth.

That thing that gave me wings again

freed me from all of my hurt,

but I didn’t know it was a trammel,

I didn’t see it was a lie.

Never noticed I was giving in

to gravity

a little at a time.

 

Now I’m burning up upon reentry,

about to smash into the ground

and I’m still fighting to keep

my grip the sky

while holding on

to a lie;

so I’m letting go.

 

Good bye,

sweet wings;

you lifted me up high one time,

but you’re just wax

and dreams and down

and I’m done dragging you around.

I’m done with the clouds,

my feet back on the ground,

safe and unsound.

I can see now,

that this sanity

Just can’t last in this crazy world.

 

So, I’m letting go.

The fight sometimes isn’t worth the prize.

When did I realize

that I didn’t have to want this way of life?

Why did I try

to have what was prescribed?

This is my life

and my mind;

I’ll discover whatever I find.

 

Best and brightest future,

never wanted to be more

than to see it for myself.

In my worst nightmares,

I fell down

from this before.

I have nothing,

but imagination,

be this as it may,

I have no ties to this reality;

I will make my own way.

 

We all have to lose our baby wings

sometime.

We have to grow

to live

in our own sky.

Why fight to live,

if we’re just going to die,

believing in a lie?

The truth is ours to find;

our paradise.

 

HG – 2016