There are words here
somewhere,
to describe this
something.
If I sit here longer
in the silence wondering.
Digging deeper into
my head to find you,
my mind to let you
out into the vacuum.
Every thought I’ve ever had
was leading up to this one;
I’m euphoric.
It has been so many years
to find it,
now I have to do my best just to ignore it.
That thing you do with your mouth,
I thought would be contagious,
but instead,
it left a trail of the dead;
so virulent
and patient.
I unlocked my brain
and dug into the dirt.
Brought out grave wax
and a thousand year old curse.
Just when I thought
I couldn’t do any worse.
Take a breath now, stupid.
You can’t live outside this
fertile, deep green prison.
So don’t ask for answers,
you’re just stuck here
wasting time and brain cells daily.
Digging holes to place
your most precious babies.
Thoughts are just creations,
but they don’t mean much,
do they?
Sick of this condition,
getting to a new way.
Every tic and disposition
that I’ve known has only been a way here.
Empty out the dead things in my head,
so I can finally see my way clear.
Losing time and inclination,
so I have to get on with this quickly.
Before I lose my nerve,
I have to purge this world
that never really fit me.
I’m proving to you
that my mind
is finally made up.
Something’s come my way
that was worth the clean up.
I will find a way
to turn the graveyard in my head
in to a world
that you would feel lucky to exist in.
Hold on…
… I can feel a change coming.
HG – 2017
