but never recover.

The things we are after

are meaningless.

All we receive is more trouble,

I’ve seen it double.

You’re bleeding out

and I’m digging under.


Spend all your time,

your money,

your effort,

your soul

thinking that you’re in control.

I can give you everything,

just a chemical reaction in your brain.

Love is an anesthetic for your pain.

I can give you dopamine cascades.

Wouldn’t that be great?

You’d never want for a thing.


Careful what you wish for,

who you choose to resurrect you,

who will come and then select you,

ride you hard,

until they wreck you.

Feeling pain and devastation,

strike like lightning from the air;

the grass is always greener over there

and life is never fair.


We came so far

and then you chose

the chemical interlude.

I lost you in the space

between your veins

and your brain.

You went away

and I went insane,

but we both learned what it was

to suffer in our own ways.


You won

the race to the bottom.

While you were running,

I was cleaning my gun.

Never been much for believing

in my own self-delusions;

my illusions have always been wrong.

Hope you’re okay.

Hope you’re happy you’ve won.


It’s so easy to please

the simple and the seekers,

to deceive the believers;

they’re already there.

Just a drop in their bloodstream,

just a fragile ego stroked,

a few words to tell them

they can have their dreams,

if they only give their lives

for some psychotic’s scheme.


Medicate away their resolve.

Fuck them until all they know

is how to come.

Drive away desire,

by fulfilling every want.

My friends,

my slaves;

your dreams

are chains,

when they’re not your graves.


HG – 2016


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