200 Times

I watched you

in the mirror

brush your hair

two hundred times

and I wondered

if you knew

that I could see it

in your eyes.


I asked

if you were going to leave me;

you said “No”,

and then went anyway.

I knew you needed an escape

from this insane holiday.


I had broken

every promise

I had made

to be good to you.


I smoked

one thousand cigarettes

while I looked for you

in the rain.

Soaked to the bone,

ruined my phone.

I couldn’t call,

I didn’t know

that I had really left you

after all.


Three little words

that cost a lifetime.

Just like a murderer

I faced the judge.

A head full of whiskey

and badly cut cocaine;

I just can’t hold a grudge,

I know what I was.


One hundred days it cost me,

laying in a jail cell

and when I came home

there was no sign of you,

like you never

were there at all.


Oh, I’ve known loneliness

and hard times

and I have seventeen regrets,

but you aren’t on the list,

’cause Baby;

you were Heaven sent.


If I die lonely,

go back to prison,

or if I find

new life to live,

I’ll always think back

on  your beauty,

because in the end,

you were a gift.


I’ll hold each brush stroke

through your hair

as a lover’s kiss,

a sweet caress.

Two hundred times

each night I watched you

get ready for bed.


At least a man

like me can die,

or move on

with his life,

knowing he’s known love

and when I step out

in the night,

I always look for you,

even though I know

you’re never there.

That’s what love does

for a man

who’s going nowhere.


HG – 2017

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