The Christmas Program

The Christmas benediction

was the same as last year

and I’m sure I bought you

all these gifts before.

The lady in the store,

stutters like a glitch in a machine

when I ask her where she was

in 2015.

 

I’m certain now,

that this is just a cycle,

repeating itself on a loop.

The program running our simulation

has hit an odd programming error

and we’re trapped

doing the same things

over and over and over.

 

Outside,

the sky is a blue/grey cloud/sky

and there are birds in the distance,

but they seem frozen in flight.

Shouldn’t they just fall out of the sky?

The thought passes me quickly,

as a car in the parking lot narrowly misses me

and I have no time left to ponder

the nature of reality,

because it is Christmas time

and there is no time for frivolity.

 

Driving in frigid winter traffic,

with the sun setting in the afternoon,

like darkness hides the flaws in the façade;

as if the long nights can conceal

such shoddy workmanship.

I keep an eye out

for tears in the veil,

but there are too many things to do

this time of year

to dedicate much time to deciphering reality.

 

I decide to break the cycle.

Fuck it; I’ll cook a roast instead.

No gifts, just charitable donations.

Then I remember that we did that

back in ’03.

Shit.

The cycle again.

The cosmic carousel

that drags us around

like some kind of divine joke.

 

I want to get off this ride.

I want to tear down this fake world,

burn it and live amongst its ashes,

but there is so much comfort here.

I have memories,

however fabricated,

of cherished times and loving friends.

There were many childhood Christmases

and a few adult ones

that I hold precious.

 

So I wonder,

if it really matters if we’re stuck

in a bad piece of glitchy programming?

Who cares if the birds are fake,

or if that lady worked the check out last year?

Is it more insane

to fight the turning of the wheel,

or to accept it?

 

For this year,

I suppose,

I’ll go for one more spin.

Have yourself

A merry little Christmas.

 

HG – 2016