I guess every time we said,
“It doesn’t matter.”
was a lie.
We were feeling vulnerable.
We needed to recover
some measure
of our composure.
In our minds,
we thought
we could do much better.
Caught in the act of
giving a fuck,
we talked a lot about
how we were so much better.
Thought we were tough,
but inside, we both knew better.
We were so scared of being alive,
we made up lies
to silence our minds.
I watched you trip,
slip, fall and stumble
over words that we used to use
with no trouble.
So insensitive,
I threw
“Love” into the jumble
then with a twist of the tongue
I went down in a puddle.
It’s the only thing I’ve come from.
It’s been a minute
since I lived on the inside
of your mouth,
now spit it out.
The truth as you know it.
Your teeth can’t keep it
from escaping through your skin.
I ask forgiveness
for all of this
falls within
my kind of business.
I could have helped you,
could have saved you,
but I watched you drown.
I couldn’t hold you back,
couldn’t restrain you;
guess you know that now.
Said it never mattered
and I laughed out loud
at the idea,
but we aren’t laughing now.
Never could admit
we gave a shit;
now it’s too late
to fix this love,
but I can’t stop
thinking about it.
We made this without words
and yet,
words still destroyed us.
HG – 2016
