I understand now,
that I never understood a thing.
Your frustration
and your anger,
while at the time seemed inexplicable;
now make all too much sense
in the light of these tearful revelations.
I was always too busy.
Maybe… maybe I understood on some level
and in some sub-conscious attempt
to not have to share in this discomfort,
I focused more on my work
than on you.
I can’t help but feel now,
that that time was time I wasted.
I can’t help,
but to hold a burning ember of regret
in my outstretched hand towards you;
to warm you,
to heal you,
to give you life again.
For these are days now,
that all I see is my indifference to you.
That all I know of our relationship,
is distance
and avoidance.
Words never said meant promises unbroken,
but it was never your love that waned,
it was never your smile that faded.
I retreated,
while you fought for all we were.
I see now,
just how beautiful your vision of us must have been,
for it to be so worth fighting for.
I never lost sight of your beauty;
I lost sight of mine.
I never betrayed you,
but I abandoned you.
I watched our love live for a time
and watched as slowly
as roses lose their petals;
one by one;
you were gone.
I woke one morning,
either blessed, or cursed
with terrible understanding.
My life,
now empty;
revealed starkly
in the light of the light of the spring dawn.
In one moment,
I relived everything
and finally,
at the end,
I heard you whisper;
“I love you.”
– HG
