I never stayed.
I always ran away
and what a price you paid,
from the cradle to the grave.
Trust was anathema,
a curse word you eschewed
that left the rest of us
to be abused;
the ruse was all you knew.
Try as we might to change,
there is always one more
piece of chain,
lying in wait
to shackle us
to the past.
we remain,
susceptible to ourselves
we’re mirrored in the ground swells
that shake our world
down to our very base.
What’s left of faith…
… undermined by
traitorous fuckers,
that violate others,
they feed on their daughters
and deceive their brothers,
and we all wonder
what’s driving each other
to fear and to doubt
the devout
and each wonderful
light that shines
new life into our eyes.
I will never have enough
to make up
for abandoning you;
in the crashing waves,
in the killing fields,
I ran from you.
I’m afraid I have created
one more monster
to unleash upon the world,
until I come back to reflection
and I see
that I am all I ever hurt.
The one I have abandoned
to be turned
into abominations,
I am the only monster in the world.
Made one way…
By fate.
By choice.
By rage.
By noise.
By hate.
By faith.
By tidal waves.
By wildfires.
By lava flows.
By hurricanes.
By tornados.
By ice.
By fire.
By wind.
By rain.
By blood.
By come.
By love.
By pain.
I have abandoned
self inside,
made monster
from the life denied.
The fault, the shame,
the blame is mine,
abandon all this one more time.
Step to the end,
step right outside,
exposed and opened
to the light
of all I am
and all I’ve been;
kill the monster,
start again…
… again.
HG – 2016
