Sex Dreams

Between every connection,

before every careful touch,

there are moments of reflection,

attraction and disgust.

Plugging in can be so painful,

disconnection tears the skin;

lingering like lucid sex dreams

and the shame of fitting in.

 

Clutch your brittle intentions

tight to your chest,

’cause you know they won’t

survive inspection.

Up close they mean nothing,

just like the rest.

We all drink bitter water.

Hard to swallow,

pills and the fallout,

just makes it harder

for us to pull out.

 

Trapped in attractions we need.

Upon each other we feed.

 

But it was never supposed

to be this way.

We just needed someone to hold us

at the end of every day

and these promises we’ve made

are silly too;

how quickly can the ties that bind

twist into a noose?

 

From plugging in one time,

our mingling of bodies

and our minds.

Just find

it harder to uncouple every time

we come.

The afterglow just shows what we’ve become.

So slow,

the thumb that cocks the hammer

of the gun.

 

There is no solution to it,

only surviving through it.

This is the truth and we knew it;

love it, or hate it, we’ll screw it.

 

Until we pull away,

we take the skin with the blade.

The pain we feel when we wake

is just the shame we feel

for loving each mistake.

 

-Love – Deny – Repeat-

 

HG – 2016