There is an instant
when the question begs an answer
and procrastination just don’t make the grade.
All the hours spent in harmful distraction
are ever really worth the prices paid.
A need unfilled provides a way into me
for every harmful and angry impulse.
No self-destruction, but what comforts me,
is an embrace with the universe.
Take away chemical cushions,
and running out of grace –
giving in only lessens
the life in my veins –
Friends and family wait for me
to solve all my disgrace.
There is no day like today
to make a real life of waste.
No wonder, but the whisper of a lover
who’s awaiting my recovery
to take me in her arms and keep me safe.
Won’t wager with the devil, cause my
future is above me – on a level I must reach
to make a real life of waste.
Healing hurt will make me who I am.
I’m keeping, keeping on as best I can.
Won’t worry her by putting
my life upon the blade,
the needle or the noose
won’t cut short all the plans I’ve made.
‘Cause I’m sick of being sick
and only living just to die.
Don’t need a co-dependent user,
but a lover and a friend by my side.
Slow down …
come ’round…
it’s time…
to find…
my place…
Wind out…
live now…
making a real life…
of waste…
of waste…
of waste…
-I don’t wanna live this way-
-No, I don’t wanna die this way-
HG – 2000-2005