This Disease

I am feeling so much more

that I ever have before.

Not even wondering why,

no end to what’s behind my eyes.


Heal me – No longer chaos and confusion.

of my – Misdirected frustration.

disease – Coming down like rain.

– No end to the pain-


Congregations of believers,

let all of them down;

never said I had the answers,

put the words into my mouth

and now there’s no one around

to hear my confession.

It’s just as well,

in this hell of suggestion.


All mind – Just turn me off again.

I’ve died – Didn’t stop my feeling.

No sensation could ever match this overwhelming

twist of emotion – wrench the mind open

and vomit out a maelstrom

of abandoned devotion.


Won’t someone ease me?

Can’t quite appease me.

Design my enemy.

Close my eyes so I can’t see,

the mirrors rebelling,

don’t like what it’s telling.

Ceasing to recognise;

someone’s wearing my disguise.


If I can’t cure this,

feeling of self – alienation,

driven by aggravation,

I’ll kill myself in time.


Comfort me in the void

of your love,

’cause this mess in my head

is becoming too much.

The cure lies outside me,

so far I cannot see.

Make it all go away,

let the chaos decay.

Bring the void and let cease,

nullify this disease,

lest the voice of the dead,

cure this noise in my head.


HG – 2000-2005

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