What Is and What Could Never Be

She’s on my mind

and it’s a terrible thing,

for it can never be.

This man I am is lovesick;

sick of love and misery.

 

Taken all this time

to build a wall

of such sweet apathy,

to live with peace as loneliness

and still she finds her way to me;

through what is

and what can never be.

 

Cycle of rejection

makes a fool of me.

There is no heart here,

submission like love,

every time she gives,

it’s never enough.

I don’t know the reasons,

I don’t pretend;

dominate and hate

until nothing is my friend.

 

Run away, run away,

’cause she’s far too much like me,

Find my mind – half alive between

what is – what was

and what can never be.

 

She’s like the perfect drug to me.

So insane with the pain

and the pleasure that is she (is she?)

Come away – I will lay – down

and never dream of her.

Lifts me up – leaves me fucked!

This is what we are

and what we never were.

 

I’m just some punk

who thinks a little too highly of himself.

Apologize, but I’ve tried,

I can’t be anybody else.

You don’t want – yet you taunt,

won’t make a change in me.

Wish to die – in her eyes;

this is what has been

and what could never be.

 

HG – 2000-2005